Tears

20th May 2014 035

The Queen’s Pearl Necklace translated by Anna Wahlenberg

This Swedish folk tale is a beautiful story about the healing power and importance of shedding tears. Estella is a young lady-in-waiting who seeks to catch the eye of the handsome young king. She meets an old troll woman in the forest and trades all of her tears to become Queen. She later comes to realise how painful it is to be unable to express sadness through the shedding of tears.

The Queen’s Pearl Necklace

Desperate

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and what was this feeling
that forever pervaded me?
an insidious creeping
unworthiness
a relentless anxiety?

I realised I was
desperate
graceless; clutching
ungainly
grasping to the last
shrieking and braying
as a greasy film of
insecurity
in the shape of my wanting
habitually clung fast

I inhabited this
wretched forsaken outpost
through endless incarnations
I held a permanent residency
I lurched about
cloaked in the vulgar garb
of coarsely expressed
grief and shame
that perpetually accompanied me

and now as I sit
and write in the night
listening closer still
I wonder who that person was
and how she came to be
I send love back to that lonely girl
and embrace her
tenderly

Crone

05-03-12 iPhone 076A dry old bone
No tooth in her head
A wiry old crone
Ten times closer to dead

She pointed her digit
She rasped in my face –

“You are the spindrift dreamer
the winds carried your fate
A dancing flame flickers
at the threshold of heaven’s gate

Wait not for a sign
or ease your pain with a balm
Question nothing about this
for it is written on your palm”

Lover Love Me

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Shake my bones
Rattle them down
to my core
Make me remember
what we came here for

Wake up!
You are screaming
I can’t hear a sound
I’m checked out, inert
As every word
Shuts me down

My brittle mind
wages war for survival
While my heart beats only
to hear you say ‘I will’

Intention is blurred
thoughts fickle and deceiving
As I become
painfully aware
Of my own
resistance to receiving

I’m dragging the chain
Ambitious yet cowed
Circling the drain
In my neglect
I have allowed

Love presses on
Only for the brave
Love shines on
Even in the cave